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I am an ambivert

When people are asked about the mistakes of their lives, it takes them in a flashback. The most common ones are relationships, careers, decisions, marriage, habits etc. The biggest mistake of my life is that I am an ambivert. According to the dictionary it means, a person who has a balance of extrovert and introvert features in their personality. According to me, it is a dog/bitch who is a tiger in his own street. To elaborate more, ambiverts would sometimes get confused to call a spade, a spade. Their most common answer to any question is, “I don’t know.” 




If you are at a gathering and you observe someone who is quiet, it doesn’t mean that he/she is an introvert. They very well can be an ambivert. They find their space in a room full of idiots, they have conversations with themselves when these idiots are having discussions about the lamest topics. 




I should be honest here, at family gatherings people have noticed my silence. But in my head, I am ordering the minions to attack each of them. (I just imagined Stuart and Kevin stuck on my aunt and uncle’s leg). (For the relatives reading this, I am not giving out names, even if you pay me, or wait, we could just negotiate the price).





Coming back to this mistake. Being an ambivert is like being the grey, you are not black nor are you white. Just grey. I consider it a mistake because I haven’t been able to tell off a lot of people, especially “the chaar log”. These “chaar log” have managed to destroy every Indian child’s dream of becoming themselves. They come in many forms, faces and keep changing. They are the ones to ask you about your result, they are the ones who will inform your parents first about Sharmaji’s son. They are the ones who would inform your parents that they saw someone similar to you smoking around. They would be the ones to tell your parents that they saw you hugging a guy. They are also exactly the same ones who would bitch about you in the whole society, “Ghar pe late aata/aati hai, choti skirt pehenti hai, chewing gum bhai chabaati hai! Saans bhi leti/leta hai! Batao!!”




The introvert in me overpowers the extrovert at many occasions. Or these Chaar log would have vanished from my world. Trust me, no one would want to know the conversations that go on in my head. When someone gives me sarcasm and I don’t reply, there are many reasons for them. Reason #1 : I have already shot you in my head. Reason #2 : I really don’t have the time for a good comeback. Reason #3 : You took me by surprise. Reason #4 : I was in a meeting with my minions and you interrupted. Reason #5 : Ouch! that hurt bad! 






Me being an ambivert hasn't helped me prepare for the times I should have spoken, I should have taken a stand or I should have just shot you. I have watched enough of Crime Patrol to know that I need to hide my cell phone first or not make any shady calls to commit a crime. I regret not calling an asshole and asshole (Sorry mom, I won’t abuse again). I regret the times I should have hit people back with sarcasm (or a chair) but I haven’t. 





All of this was written in good spirit. If you judge me, it’s your fault. If you read this and laugh, I like you. If you are one of the chaar log who is just going to message or call my mom about this post, go ahead, I am reloading. 









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