Atelo

You saw the mayhem, the chaos, and violence in me.   You saw experienced the stress that no one could see. You met me at my worst, but I smiled to hide it all. You read between the lines and even saw what was hidden behind the wall. You took me out of the darkness to show me the light I could never see. That’s when I fell in love twice, life and you. Things moved fast and beautifully, in fact, it was too good to be true. I had my hopes high and you flew that length to keep them alive. You never sugar-coated life for me, it was always a reality check to keep me firm. You were never expressive but weren’t you the one to teach me how to look on the brighter side? I remember how beautiful you looked that day, the day I was going to tell you about how I fell in love twice. “I love you and I cannot imagine a day without you,” I said. You smiled right back at me and said, “There is a difference between love and being someone’s habit.” That...

Look a shooting star! Make a wish quickly! Nikita yelled out to Kiara. Kiara closed her eyes and deeply wished. “I have been waiting for Mr. Right forever now. God please help me find the right man, send me the man I deserve. The love I want to share.” “Well, I am not going to ask you what you wished for. They say if you reveal it, it never comes true.” Nikita explained like a professional wish professional. If that was a designation I could give her. She had been my best friend for like forever now. And even though she knew what I could have possibly asked for, she did not force me to speak about it.   We sat on my apartment’s terrace sipping on the cocktails Nikita would always make for us. Her belief was, if it is a cocktail, you need to mix all the alcohol to get the perfect concoction. I couldn’t deny, she was a perfect failure at being a wish professional and a pathetic bartender. But at the end of the day, all I wanted was to be in a fictional world, after getting high...

The desire to be happy is not a choice, it’s invincible. Fine words by someone close to me . According to me, everyone wants to be happy. Period. Everyone chooses happiness as an emotion. But, for some people, happiness is not a choice. Everything is just too perfect, too perfect to be true. Yet there is something amiss. To be more practical it is a chemical imbalance in the brain. No matter what you do, happiness will be a distant relative. A cousin, a friend, who you long to meet but the distance keeps you both at bay.   I have been fighting depression for a long time now. I have the best of family, the best of friends, a husband who is my best friend. But my distant relative (happiness) is something I miss. How and when did this happen to me, I am not sure. But clinically I was diagnosed with it in 2017. I am not going to get into the details of this but since I have been on the darker side, for people like us, the grass is always dry no matter what side you are on. ...

I have gotten comfortable in my own skin.  Is it good or bad? I will never know.  I have bruises and scars that will always show.  But to me, they are stories which a few will know.  I have gotten comfortable in my own skin Well, that’s too much of skin looking at my double chin.  Do I want to shed this or should I keep it?  Oh, wait! I will shed who would want to keep the extra weight. I am a tad bit more confident than I used to be, Wasn’t this someone I always wanted to be?  There are layers of skin, which I want to keep,  Well, at least that is a step which is steep. I have gotten too comfortable in my own skin, Is it good or bad? I ask while holding a glass of gin.  My choices, my experiences, the lessons I learn, Will they be the same as warned by my elders? Because I have an intense feeling of longing for something, Damn! I just defined yearn!  I am comfortable in my own skin. Call me overwei...

I found my watercolors after a really long time.   It reminded me of the time when I loved to color, now the colors had dried up like a piece of dry land. A dry land, a dry zeal.   When did I forget to be the kid who would randomly fill pages with colors and wait for my proud mother to boost my talent? I guess I didn’t lose the talent, I just buried the watercolors under the weight of running life’s race.   A race that I have no clue when I participated in.   A race that was tiring because I was leaving behind my enthusiasm.   Why was I running? I asked myself. Where was I headed? I thought to myself.   I stopped midway, not just thinking but stopped running for a bit.   I sat down, fixed my watercolors.   I opened a blank page and started coloring.   My mother peeked in my room to see me smile. I smiled back at her and opened my pandora’s box of thoughts.   I realized I can start and stop whenever I want to. ...