Look a shooting star! Make a wish quickly! Nikita yelled out to Kiara. Kiara closed her eyes and deeply wished. “I have been waiting for Mr. Right forever now. God please help me find the right man, send me the man I deserve. The love I want to share.” “Well, I am not going to ask you what you wished for. They say if you reveal it, it never comes true.” Nikita explained like a professional wish professional. If that was a designation I could give her. She had been my best friend for like forever now. And even though she knew what I could have possibly asked for, she did not force me to speak about it.
We sat on my apartment’s terrace sipping on the cocktails Nikita would always make for us. Her belief was, if it is a cocktail, you need to mix all the alcohol to get the perfect concoction. I couldn’t deny, she was a perfect failure at being a wish professional and a pathetic bartender. But at the end of the day, all I wanted was to be in a fictional world, after getting high.
It was a weekend and we would either go clubbing with our group or just sit and party like adults with a lot of alcohol. Being responsibly irresponsible was something we were good at. Nikita’s taste for music would go from good to worse depending upon alcohol consumption. And like always she would suggest watching a movie between which she would pass out. And me being me would stay up all night, even with the liquor in my body yelling at me to sleep.
“I promise I will stay up till the end of this season of Lucifer,” Nikita begged to me. Without saying another word, I switched on Netflix and we started watching the last season of Lucifer. The first episode had just started when Nikita hit paused and yelled, “Popcorn! We need popcorn!” I never said no to popcorn because I knew, she would pass out soon and the whole bowl of delicious cheesy puffy popcorn would be mine. I got up to make some in the microwave. Tore the plastic covering, switched on my microwave, and set it for two minutes, thirty-seconds. While the popcorn was work in progress, I picked up my phone to check all the notifications. Tinder, Aisle, Happn, all the dating apps had a few notifications. I opened Tinder to see a 38-year-old man. He had sent an interest, but looking at his face and age, I had zero interest. I was 26 years old, successful novelist, single and non-judgemental even though I had just judged the middle-aged guy, Mahendra. I never judged him for using the app or the fact that his name was Mahendra. I just thought to myself, how would Mahendra be as a kid. I couldn’t even imagine a child called Mahendra. It just felt like he was born and he fast-forwarded to being a 38-year-old Mahendra. To be honest, I was secretly judgemental. But that secret was mine and mine alone. I left swiped Mahendra and closed the app to open Happn. Well, there was nothing really good that was there on Happn. Switching to Aisle, I found a guy called Kabir, he had a picture of him in a pool, with wayfarers on. His bio was funny too. I always wanted to find a guy with a good sense of humor. I accepted his invite, without thinking twice. The microwave started this blaring alarm at 2 am telling me that my little bowl of heaven was ready to be served.
I smiled and got back to my room, where I saw a passed out Nikita. I put on a blanket for her and she mumbled in her sleep. I couldn’t make out what she was trying to say but all I could think of was getting back to popcorn and Aisle to check if Kabir would message.
I went to my balcony, put on my earphones, lit a cigarette, grabbed the last glass of cocktail left, and played some 90’s pop songs. I took the first kernel and it melted in my mouth. I smiled at the way I felt. I tapped on the phone screen to see if Kabir had messaged but nothing.
I had this bad habit of escalating things in my head. See a good looking guy, picturing him being funny, imagining him chilling and laughing with my family, getting married to him and adopting 2 cats and 1 dog. That had happened with Kabir already. I was already in the pool next to him posing the way he did in his picture on Aisle. The cigarette was giving me a good buzz. I was actually feeling too high. The popcorn was the cherry on top, actually, it was Kabir but for now, popcorn was good. The skipped dinner was making me hog on the popcorn when I suddenly heard a noise. The noise was loud enough to get through the earphones and music. I was suddenly not high anymore. It is exactly like how you are high and suddenly your parents are standing in front of you. Every ounce of liquor makes you feel like you just had an ice tea. You start acting extremely normal and force your brain to be alert. My brain was alert, I stubbed the cigarette and walked slowly towards my room to see if Nikita had fallen from the bed. With the mobile torchlight, I spotted her snoring with her mouth open. I shut her mouth and walked towards the kitchen, nothing! I switched on all the lights in the kitchen and living room and turned to the sofa. “Who the hell are you? What are you doing in my house? If you need money, I’ll give you all the money I have. Please do not harm me or my friend!” There was a guy who looked a bit like Kabir who sat comfortably on the sofa while smoking. He said, “Can you relax a bit? I am your wish, you asked for me and I have come to take you with me. Well, you technically asked for the perfect guy, but God thought I am the one for you at this moment.” Mentally I was abusing Nikita for getting me this high but physically I was standing alert so that he wouldn’t know I am not in my senses. “What are you talking about? Who are you?” I yelled back. “Gosh, can you like calm the fuck down? Come here, sit down, I’ll explain.” I slowly, carefully sat on the opposite side. “Around an hour or two back, you wished on a shooting star, asking for Mr. Right. I am your Mr. Right now. Wow! I am humorous at times! Jokes apart, Let me introduce myself to you. I am Azrael. Wait! I will put it up in an easy language, I am the Angel of Death! I have come to take you with me. Not that I am your Mr. Right but what can I say, look at yourself, choking on popcorn!” Azrael said pointing towards his feet. I was trembling in fear and got up slowly to see myself lying down choking and trying to help myself breathe. I could only think of the things I had planned and cursed myself for making that stupid wish. I wish I could have clarified. Why couldn’t God just read what’s in my heart? “Why aren’t you trying to help me! Do not let me choke or die! Please I beg you!” I yelled again. “That is not in my job description! I come to take people with me, I am the Angel of Death, not an Angel! Wow! I am on a roll today. My jokes are so lit! Just by the way, this is a very sad way to go. You couldn’t have popcorn properly? Who asked you to be so careless? Imagine it is so funny to just read, the reason for death- choked on cheese popcorn. Azrael was animatedly talking. But he was getting on my nerves, but he just didn’t look like the Angel of Death. He actually looked more like an angel. Who dresses up in a black shirt and black trousers with formal shinning shoes, gelled hair. If I hadn’t seen myself on the floor gasping for breath I would never believe this guy. “I don’t look this good, it is your imagination. The last guy you were checking out on your phone, I thought I could look like him so that it wouldn’t be difficult to take you with me. He already swept you off your feet, All I had to do was pick you up. He laughed at his own joke again.
I burst out crying. He stopped laughing. With tears in my eyes I explained, “Listen there has been some misunderstanding between what I asked for and what God understood. Not that I am saying God is wrong but this will be so wrong. Is there any way out of this? I do not want to go so early and especially this way.” I ran towards his feet and kept begging, crying, and yelling. My soul was crying and the worst part was my nose leaked too. I clearly didn’t know this was possible. “You know what, I can think of something, but not because I am sensitive but because you are a yeller. We do not like yellers up there and I certainly do not want to disturb the system up there.” I wiped my tears and my nose on my T-shirt’s sleeve. Azrael said, “And especially after this disgusting way you cleaned yourself up, I cannot take you with me. It will spoil my new shirt.” He passed me a tissue box with a disgusted look on his face. I wiped my face and asked, “What will I have to do? Tell me, I’ll do anything!” Azrael looked at me dabbing his sweat from his forehead and said, “Firstly, quit yelling! Secondly, you will have to give up on cheese popcorn, thirdly quit smoking, it is bad for your health. Each time you smoke, our meeting schedule gets closer.” I spontaneously replied, Yes! I will do everything you just said. I promise!” Azrael replied with a palm on his face, “You are yelling again!” “I am sorry” I whispered.
Azrael walked into my bedroom without saying a word. I suddenly blacked out. I heard someone’s voice faintly asking me if I am okay. I opened my eyes and saw Nikita standing behind me holding onto my ribs and hugging me tightly. I tried to talk but I felt something in my mouth. It was a kernel of popcorn which I spat out immediately. “Are you okay? I felt like someone slapped and woke me up. I came to search for you and saw you choking. Well since I am a medical student, I knew what had to be done.” I coughed a little and took a sip of water. I sat back on the sofa with my head leaning backward. I felt too dizzy and nauseous. I ran towards the bathroom to puke the alcohol out.
The only thing that got out of my system was popcorn.
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