Atelo

In political science, the term banana republic describes a politically unstable country with an economy dependent upon the exportation of a limited-resource product, e.g. bananas, minerals, etc. It was invented by American author O. Henry in 1901 in reference to Honduras and neighboring countries which came under the extraordinary influence by multinational American fruit corporations such as the United Fruit Company. ( source:: wikipedia). I would want to change or modify the meaning for India. “ In the real world, the term banana republic describes a mentally unstable country with a mind dependent on self-acclaimed powerful politicians, gunda raj groups. It was invented not by just one but every Indian who is right now just quietly sitting at home, watching the news after coming back from work, too tired to give a shit about the country or to even move your body to change the channel, we watch someone openly threat individuals and announce a bounty on their heads, nose, legs....

I don’t like confrontations! My best escape word is, ‘Chuck’. The problem with problems are that they require time and I just feel that if we sit down and invest time in chalking and solving them, we’ll miss out on the important reasons to live. It’s just my opinion and I am not here to make people change theirs. My biggest fear is the fear of, “We need to talk” If you want to really have a conversation which involves pointing out my mistakes, please leave a message after the beep or email or WhatsApp me. I will get back to you with a powerpoint presentation (preferably a keynote[I am a mac user bitches]). The keynote will have all your answers, while a conversation will not. While you talk, confront, yell, accuse me of things, I will be like Sameer from Dil chahta hai. I would only be saying,  “Haan mai, magar wo, suno toh, tumne toh, lekin main, kabse keh, Main aakash ke yahan…Hello??” That’s the problem with my problem. I never mention the good points to win the arguments. Whe...

Correct me if I am wrong, but the most common answers to any Indian’s favourite movie would be: Andaz apna apna, Dilwale dulhania le jayenge, Welcome, Dil chahta hai, Queen, etc. etc. (This list is mine actually).  I am writing this blog post on a movie which was suggested by one of our close family friends. More like family actually. Ginni Aneja, (Feels too odd to call you aunty now that I am old).  So here we go! The movie starts with a bit of a tour of London, where Chaudhry Baldev Singh is seen feeding the pigeons (odd hobby, but he is Amrish Puri). He is shown as a stricter version of Alok Nath, A no-nonsense man. He has a lot of love in him, but only and only for India. Like he has so much of love for India that there is a scene in which he receives a letter from his childhood friend Ajit from Punjab and he can actually smell the letter to sense the apne desh ki mitti ki khushboo. While Laajo  in serious doubts if he even remembers what frag...

When people are asked about the mistakes of their lives, it takes them in a flashback. The most common ones are relationships, careers, decisions, marriage, habits etc. The biggest mistake of my life is that I am an ambivert. According to the dictionary it means, a person who has a balance of extrovert and introvert features in their personality. According to me, it is a dog/bitch who is a tiger in his own street. To elaborate more, ambiverts would sometimes get confused to call a spade, a spade. Their most common answer to any question is, “I don’t know.”  If you are at a gathering and you observe someone who is quiet, it doesn’t mean that he/she is an introvert. They very well can be an ambivert. They find their space in a room full of idiots, they have conversations with themselves when these idiots are having discussions about the lamest topics.  I should be honest here, at family gatherings people have noticed my silence. But in my head, I am ord...

Agar pyaar dosti hai, then why didn’t Rahul end up with Anjali in the first place? The writers, directors, the whole crew was smoking some real bad stuff. The script had the protagonist, Rahul quoting, “Pyar dosti hai...agar woh meri sab se achchi dost nahin ban sakti, to main usse kabhi pyar kar hi nahi sakta ... kyun ki dosti bina toh pyar hota hi nahin ... simple, pyar dosti hai.  And then rather than falling for his best friend, he falls for Tina who just makes him go head over heels. Without noticing the best friend shedding tears or making desperate attempts to make Rahul for him. Anjali leaves Rahul and Tina in peace (a heartbroken escapist).  Time flies and we have Tina on her death bed asking Rahul to find happiness and solace and to take care of their 8 year old daughter Anjali (Rahul was high throughout to notice Tina giving him subtle hints about his best friend). Tina dies, leaving Rahul’s mother and little Anjali to play cupid between ...

“The last time we spoke, you asked me to move on, to get married. You joked about how you wanted to have good food and enjoy looking at someone getting sacrificed. Do you remember how I wanted to let the whole world know about us but you stopped me? Do you remember, that you never stood by me when your possessive best friend wanted us to call it off? Well amidst those fights, your nonchalant behaviour, I fell out of this relationship. Moving on, My family is really happy that I am open to the thought of marriage. The funny part is that I am on every online matrimonial portal available but looks like I am not the only one there. My dad recently showed me a few photos and profiles of some shortlisted prospects. Looks like your elder brother has also made it to the top 3 of my Mom, Dad and aunt's preferences. Oops! Looks like the Tequila started talking instead of me! Gtg! Have a great night!” 

It is a horrible feeling when someone calls you slow, I was definitely not dyslexic. I had bullied the tube light all this while and looks like karma was giving me a taste of my own medicine. The tube light flickered and lit up the whole room in a while, the light bulb tried to open his eyes, and breathed his last. 

Dear voice in my head, Is a thank you, going to be good enough for you?  More than an inner voice, you have been a soulmate to me. As weird as it sounds, it is the truth.  Thank you for the times when I felt lost in the crowd and when I turned around, you were right there.  Thank you for being humorous, For the times I said what I wanted to (even if it was never out loud). For the times I had evil plans for each individual but unlike an Indian tele series it was just between the two of us. For the times when I was misunderstood by many but not by you.  Thank you for not letting my ego control your voice.  Thank you for being that voice that didn’t use words some times.  There have been times when I didn’t make plans according to you. Thank you, that you didn’t follow others and say, “I told you so.”  Also, Thank you for making me believe that the waiter was walking towards me with my order (It wasn’t MINE!). Thank you fo...

Pen : Hey! Why so blank today? Paper : Nothing! Pen : Please! Tell me? Paper : Why would you care? Pen : Why wouldn’t I? Paper : Well, if you would, I wouldn’t be so blank today.  Pen : I was busy! I am sorry! Paper : You weren’t busy, you were lazy! Or rather I would just say that you are a coward, ‘What will people think, Am I good at this? All this self doubt is killing our relationship.  Pen : Alright! Fine! This was going to be a surprise for you, but I guess you are just a buzzkill! I had this all planned. I was going to write the longest story with you. I agree, I was taking time, but it had to be the most beautiful one.  Paper : ‘You were going to’ I would have been happier if you would have just started earlier. Your words are just mere words till you put them on me.  Pen : Just believe in me. I Mr. Parker, promises today, that I will pen down a best seller and I need you to walk with me, hand in hand. Ms. Cagie, Wil...

Yesterday, she was the only girl in a summer soccer camp till she graduated. Her journey had been one arduous ride. Today was her 6 month anniversary of her conversion from Miss to Mrs. Her hands clenched hard and gripped the bed-sheet, as her Mr. walked towards her with an evil grin and pervert intensions. It was the day when she had to firmly refuse, a day for her unabashed gemini to come out. She fearlessly got up, looked him into the eyes and saw her brazen reflection. Her quick reflexes and summer training guided her smoothly to destroy, her Mr’s mother’s aspirations of a “ grandson ” only. 

I always get these random thoughts when it is that day of the month. This time when I couldn’t figure out the source of my cramps, I just shrieked in pain,”God is a man!!!” it was just too random but they say, ‘A cramping woman always says the truth.’ Fine! I just made that up! Honestly or rather sincerely I gave it a deep thought and I came up with the whole situation of how a woman must have been gifted with this so called blessing called reproduction.   Once upon a time God, angels (I bet they were men too) and God’s biggest creation were having a management meeting. The agenda was, managing Adam’s needs, why needs? what needs? Adam was a Man, the rest is self explanatory. Adam was lonely, God had to start the world and get the production started. God must have asked,”Hmm… you are a man Adam, take up the big responsibility of reproducing and i’ll create someone to take responsibility of you and the products, it is a very big task and a very big responsibility” Adam being a...